Walking a Mile in my Prom Heels
Written and Illustrated by: Kiah Thorne
Kiah Thorne, a college senior months away from graduation and a model under development, is ready to walk the runway, but is the modeling industry all the glitz and glam she assumed it would be? Through the voices of fellow models, she unveils the challenges of joining the industry.
As the blazing London sun shined on me, not only did my temperature rise but my nerves as well. Since signing with a modeling agency, this is my first editorial shoot, and all I can think of is, am I doing this correctly? This shoot will be used for my portfolio and as a grade for my group. The added pressure of having the entire project on my shoulders was even MORE nerve-racking as we moved to the following location; questions of what pose I should do flooded my mind. My friends saw through my brave face and instantly jumped to the rescue by showing me inspiration for my next move and cheering me on as I modeled. The kindness they showed gave me the confidence and comfort I needed. That whole experience reaffirmed my decision to pursue modeling as a career.
Before I started modeling, everyone saw me for my appearance because I was tall and skinny. And while I still am that tall and skinny girl, it is very annoying to hear those comments from family, friends, and even random strangers. Everyone would tell me to go into modeling because I had the appropriate height and body type for the industry. Whatever THAT means. Even though pursuing modeling was always an interest for me, I did not want to be forced into something because everyone told me to do it. I wanted to make that decision for myself.
Despite compliments and comments on my appearance, it never changed how I felt about myself. While I received compliments on my height and build, my classmates bullied me for the same thing. At eleven years old, my friends would think it was funny to randomly grab my arm and talk about how easily they could wrap their hands around it. This made me extremely self-conscious about my body, and my confidence was nonexistent growing up. Before pursuing a career that heavily revolved around self-confidence, I had to grow into it, so I removed filters from my life. I used to hide behind Snapchat filters even though I was generally happy with my appearance, but I hated how I looked without them. So, one day I went cold turkey and started posting the real me, which slowly built my confidence in my appearance.
Comments like these are so typical that even Deborah Adebanjo, an 18-year-old model in development signed with Social New York, had similar remarks said to her. “When I was younger, everybody would tell me to do modeling because I have always been this tall, skinny girl,” she said. Self-centered and unintelligent is a common stereotype for models, and Adebanjo never wanted to be perceived this way. “I was like, no, I’m more than that. I want to be a lawyer.” Regardless of the comments from others, she was adamant about her decision not to pursue modeling. But a random encounter with a black-owned luxury shop owner in Brooklyn, New York, changed her mind.
Out of nowhere, the shop owner wanted Adebanjo to model her clothing. Yes, right there in the store with a walk and EVERYTHING. That’s when modeling changed for her. “The one thing that stuck with me was when she said, ‘Wear the clothes. Don’t let the clothes wear you.” Modeling became more than just wearing clothes. It has become an art form. “We are showcasing different pieces of art... and yes, it is modeling, but for me, it is more than that. It sort of just gave me a little confidence boost,” she says.
You may think from the photographs models post on Instagram that they live this glamorous lifestyle. But what you see on Instagram is only part of the truth. We all struggle with something from body positivity to racism, even rejection. “Even models as big as Bella Hadid still have their own struggles that they are facing in the industry that we personally don’t know of,” Adebanjo says. Brazilian butt lifts, ample cleavages, and an itty-bitty waist were popular on social media for years. “And I’m sure there’s advantages to being skinny, but you know, at that time, stuff like that affected me,” she said. “I’m really working on not letting my self-perception be dependent on external factors or male validation… I am working on loving myself because it has a lot to do with modeling.”
So, what exactly pushed me over the edge to try modeling? BOREDOM! Four months into my fashion internship, my mental health rapidly declined as I compared myself to my peers who gained more experience in their internships. I was stuck in the house all day, anxiously awaiting an email for my next assignment that never came. Finally, I started talking to a therapist who recommended using my free time to my advantage to do what I wanted to do. I was already relaxing, drawing, and focusing on my physical and mental health, but I wanted more. I wanted to jumpstart my career similarly to my peers on co-op.
After ignoring her advice for several days, I prepared my digitals (natural images of what you currently look like), standing against plain backgrounds and photographing my body’s contours in all-black attire. My digitals, along with a series of face, partial body, and full body photographs, were sent to Women Management, Wilhelmina, and Elite Model Management, to name a few. Even though I sent my digitals to a handful of agencies, I never expected any responses back. As I anxiously checked my emails for anything, I shockingly received interest from two top modeling agencies: Wilhelmina and Women Management. But with no prior experience, I was not signed. Next, I sent my digitals to mother agencies, like Ludlow Models, Social New York, and Wilson Model Management, who guide new models at the start of their careers. And on a cold December 7th afternoon, I got the perfect Christmas gift: the official model representation from Social New York. I am now a signed MODEL!
There are many ways to get into modeling. The most challenging way is to be scouted. Modeling agencies scout potential candidates based on social media and other public outlets. That is how Abigail Taylor, a 24-year-old curve model, got her start in the industry. Social New York scouted her through Instagram. With this newly found opportunity at her fingertips, she took the chance and moved to New York to see where modeling could get her. After two years, she is also under another agency, State Management, and works with other major companies.
Another way you can get in is by sending your digitals to agencies and hoping for the best. Agencies receive thousands of photo submissions; with any luck, they see potential in you. After Adebanjo found her passion for modeling after her chance encounter with the Brooklyn store owner, she sent her regular Instagram photographs to agencies. “I did not hear back. And then I submitted to other agencies of actual digitals because I think the ones I have submitted came off as not serious.” After fixing her mistake, she received interest back from several mother agencies. But she ended up choosing Social because of how much they were willing to go to guide and teach her.
A word of advice: If an agency requires money for you to put in an application or get signed, they are not legit! Do not, and I mean DO NOT hand them ANY money. Illegitimate agencies often manipulate impressionable individuals who want to join the industry. You will not have to pay to enter if an agency believes in you.
After signing with an agency, you would think that this is where your career starts. However, this is where you need to put in the effort to jumpstart your career, and it will not be a walk in the park. Starting without experience means investing a lot of money into building your portfolio—models can be signed to multiple agencies in different markets simultaneously. Being signed in one market means you are limited to the jobs in your designated area. So having more than one agency increases the chances of more job opportunities.
I am almost a year in being in development, and I have invested roughly a thousand dollars into modeling for traveling to and from New York for free test shoots. A test shoot is when a model and photographer work together to create photographs for the model’s and photographer’s portfolios. While the agency typically organizes and pays for these collaborations, models can still pay for a session outside their agency. Models need test shoots to maintain an updated portfolio for agencies and clients. Professional photoshoots and catwalk courses organized by the agency minimized my out-of-pocket expenses.
Under a thousand dollars is on the low end compared to others. Two years after signing with Social, Adebanjo invested around fifteen hundred dollars. “It’s an accumulation of buying a tripod, shoes, and an iPad for digitals,” she says. Models use iPads to easily showcase their digitals rather than having a portfolio to flip through. After consideration, she invested in buying the iPad sooner than later. When models go to casting calls, they bring their portfolio, so the client can visually understand whether they would be perfect for the job. Rather than printing out photographs to place in a portfolio, purchasing an iPad is a lot easier and more sustainable. “I will tell my friends. I am broke right now. And they are always like, ‘Aren’t you doing modeling?” Adebanjo says. Even though a modeling agency has signed you, it doesn’t mean you are now instantly reining in money. Adebanjo studies International Advising with a focus on Pre-Law Advising at Fordham University, so she cannot focus on modeling jobs exclusively.
After two months of signing with STATE, Taylor started making a return on her investment. While being signed with other agencies for over a year, she did over ten commercial jobs and walked for three runway shows. A little-known fact in the industry is that commercial jobs pay more than runway shows. Everyone thinks that walking for a brand as big as Balenciaga would mean that you would get paid a lot, but no. Runway shows pay little in comparison to commercial jobs. One of the campaigns Taylor worked on made her almost ten thousand dollars. Once a model starts receiving jobs, a 20% commission is taken out of the model’s paycheck. So, before you sign anything, check how much commission an agency will take.
I am hoping to break even soon. If I keep growing my portfolio and practicing, that day may come sooner than expected. I am finishing my senior year of college and want to focus on modeling and graduating. But the endless late nights of frustration over the heavy workload led me to focus more on finishing college. So, maybe a couple of months after graduation, I can strut down the runway.
Until then, in between test shoots and class assignments, I am learning to walk, work on facial expressions and poses, take better digitals at home, focus on my physical wellness, and increase my self-confidence. In my senior year, I finally started wearing heels for the prom. It was embarrassing to see all the other girls walking around so nicely and confidently in their heels while I was holding onto mine after an hour. Now I practice walking in heels in my mom’s kitchen. I’ve spent countless hours walking up and down the wooden floors, getting comfortable in them, and even more hours learning how to strut my stuff. I must record my walk for my agency every couple of weeks to show my progress. So, whenever I set up my tripod, I hit record and feel highly confident in my walk. I’ll look back at the recording and see the stiffest bags of bones I have ever seen. I’ll quickly erase the video, start over, repeat it, and finally send the most bearable one to my agent.
Even though I still haven’t mastered the walk yet, there is still one major obstacle I have still to overcome: rejection. The modeling industry is extremely competitive, with thousands of models competing to book jobs. After signing, my agent and professor, who worked for Wilhelmina, tried to prepare me for what was yet to come. “Learn how to accept rejection.” She said. “You will get a lot more no’s than yeses in this industry.” She hammered that message into me that day. No matter how hard I tried to tell her I understood, she restated what she said because she knew I didn’t face real rejection yet. I may never know what real rejection may look like, but I can assume that what she meant was getting rejected repeatedly by clients. And allowing that rejection to alter the way you feel about yourself. “Rejection can be difficult. No person ever likes rejection, but choosing to be in this industry has made me realize that I’m not going to book every job I go to castings for, and not every person is going to love my look,” Taylor said. These conversations with these fellow models made me realize that the modeling industry is still a business at the end of the day. Like how you apply for jobs with your resume and hope to get a response back, models do the same thing. If the company does not want you, it does not mean anything about your appearance, only that someone was a better fit for the job.
When I come face to face with rejection, I’ll know how to handle it. But until that day comes, I will continue learning to be the best model I can be. I am incredibly proud of my hard work during the past year. More than a year ago, my nice prom heels were the home of giant dust bunnies under my bed. And now, they have gotten so much use that I need a new pair. Maybe in a couple of years, I will finally master my walk, and you may eventually see me walking the runway in Vogue.