Socks. They are the start of my outfit. The ritual routine goes socks, underwear, shirt, pants, shoes. To many, socks are the unsung heroes of their wardrobe or just a pop of color. But, to me, my socks are everything. My socks represent my identity. I love socks with fun patterns, big fuzzy socks, thick, ribbed tube socks, delicate and sheer dress socks, and athletic crew socks; you name the reason, and there is a sock for it.

Socks are some of our most thoughtfully designed and technically brilliant garments. They are more than just foot mittens! Socks have soles, and I’m here to look at our unsung heroes and rate them for funzies.

1. Mismatched

People need to wear mismatched socks more. It’s the more fun way to say you’re a sociopath. Seriously, I love the way everything lines up here. It’s random and tailored at the same time.

10 out of 10 Toes! Starting off strong.

2. Cassette

Much like cassette players, I don’t understand the appeal of these socks. These socks have a printed design. Higher quality socks will show different fibers dyed for their color.

6 out of 10 Toes. I did like the green toes.

3. Digital Wink

These socks are clearly hitting on me; just look at those smug smirks. Definitely a date night sock.

8 out of 10 Toes. If socks could rizz, this pair razz.

4. Chickadees

These are true socks. Tell me you don’t have a pair of socks that have been loved to death, and I’ll call you a liar. These beautiful little birdies knit into the sock make them hard to part with.

11 out of 10 chickens! Congrats, now please get a new pair!

5. Do the Dew

These socks feel exactly like I stepped into a puddle of lukewarm Mountain Dew. I like logo socks, but they could be a more cohesive design.

5 out of 10 Toes. Stick to soda.

6. Spooky Tube and Heel

These toes reach you from beyond the grave!! I love the tube socks way more; they make you feel like a little Skellington.

8 out of 10 Toes. Halloween called; they want their socks back.

7. CREATIVE PERSON

These socks are hilarious. It’s a black sock that says “Creative Person” in Belarusian Russian. I’m jealous these are not in my collection.

7 out of 10 Toes. Creative poses from our models.

8. Loved Lace

What a Juxtaposition! Dirty white socks and frilly little lace! I think these kinds of socks are so cute and get people thinking about how to have more fun with fashion.

10 out of 10 Toes. Love you, lace.

Sock Talk: Talk About Socks